FIGHTING MY DEMONS

I have fallen and really don’t want to get back up. As I look into the mirror I reflect on where my life is at this point. I have a disorder called spinocerebellar ataxia type 7which affects my motor skills and I have concluded that my physical limitations have a negative impact on me emotionally.I continue to question if I can find the balance necessary in my life given my current situation. I have always prided myself on being resilient and not making excuses for my situation but when you’re in a position where your back is against the wall and you don’t have any place to turn it seems increasingly difficult to manage the process of lifes ups and downs. What do you do when the ones you love turn there back on you and you find yourself alone and feeling desperate? Where do you turn when the mind starts to wonder and dark thoughts enter your mind causing stress and deep depression? It seems like everything I touch turns to donkey crap.

While there is no perfect answer to our struggles, all I believe we can do is take it one step at a time. I can’t change the past so trying doesn’t help. I have to remember to remember that no weapon formed against me shall prosper and I must make a concerted effort to stay positive even when things seem bleak and difficult to handle. Giving up is not an option as I will find and create the life I need and want as I have a son who needs a strong father figure to look up to and be proud of.

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